i love and miss you Mom. It'll be 3 years soon and I'm not ready.. I was never ready to let you go. I miss you and I wish I could bring you back for a minute. I hope you're doing everything you've ever wanted to do in Heaven. Thank you for the signs... You are so amazing even in death. I wish there was an explanation as to why it has to be this way because nothing makes sense. You lived your life with grace, love, and you were so health conscious!!! I remember you running on the treadmill and doing your arm exercises saying you wanted Angela Bassett (sp?) arms. And I remember you told me when you get to Heaven you were going to run since Cancer took your legs :( Well, mom I hope you're running and flying...but I know you'd choose running over flying any day ;) Ugh this is so hard to deal with and I still feel so incredibly lost and unloved... I know I am loved but I am missing that motherly love that you gave Brian and I 1000000% and now all of a sudden it's just not here like it used to be. Sometimes I wish to be with you soon and sometimes I realize you want me to live my life but it's all so messed up now... Please keep guiding me... I miss and love you soooooo much!!!!